Do People Ever Really Change?

November 29, 2021 1 Comment

We often say that people don’t change.  We warn those in relationships of that very thing.  If you are in a relationship and think that you can change that other person with your love and care and nurture, you are wrong.  You will never change another person.

Same is true with friendships.  If you are staying in friendship that causes you grief, but you stay because you think that something you will do will change them, you are wrong.  You might as well raise up the white flag and abandon ship right now.  You will never change anyone.

People Do Change

But, people do change.  I’ve seen the most despicable sinful people become godly men and women seeking after the Father.  People I would have long since given up on, become more than I ever thought they would.  I’ve had to eat my words.

I’ve also seen people once seemingly on fire for God have an adverse event or an experience happen in their lives and suddenly they are adrift out to sea to parts unknown.

Do People Ever Really Change?

What About You?

Are you frustrated that you are not seeing the changes or transformation in your own life that you so desire?

So what happens?  What is it that changes a person for the good? Is it our own willpower?  Is it developing good habits and doing all the right things?  What creates change that is not just temporary?

True transformation always happens from the inside out and never when you are watching for it to happen.

What You Often Hear At Church

I’ve been going to church for many years now, basically my whole life.  I’ve heard ‘be good’ preached from every possible standpoint that a preacher could preach it from.  For years when I was much younger, I tried to do all the right things.  Many were easy, but many were short lived.  No matter how hard I tried. I seemed to always slip back into previous behavior.

I tried to live by the rules, you know, the 10 commandments, which seemed easy, and the teachings of the New Testament, which often didn’t seem so easy.  However, what I found is that even if I forced myself through my own self control to change, that was just me forcing me to be a certain way.  And honestly this means nothing.  

True Transformation

For a person to force themselves to be ‘good’ without transformation mean absolutely nothing!  In II Corinthians 3 Paul refers to the 10 Commandments at the ministry that brought death, but that there is a better way, the ministry of the Spirit!

II Corinthians 3
7 Now if the ministry that brought death, which was engraved in letters on stone, came with glory, so that the Israelites could not look steadily at the face of Moses because of its glory, fading though it was, 8 will not the ministry of the Spirit be even more glorious? 9 If the ministry that condemns men is glorious, how much more glorious is the ministry that brings righteousness! 10 For what was glorious has no glory now in comparison with the surpassing glory. 11 And if what was fading away came with glory, how much greater is the glory of that which lasts! .”  CLICK HERE TO READ IN FULL CONTEXT

What God wants for us is true transformation, a glory that will last.  With true transformation we will begin to choose the things that are best for us.  We will begin to live by ‘the rules’ naturally without thinking about them, because they are written on our hearts.

Making a Show of Being Good

The Pharisees and Sadducees followed all the rules and made a great show of it, but they were not transformed.  They were living a lie and were spiritually dead.  The only people in the bible that Jesus appeared to have no compassion for, but only disdain, were those who appeared to be doing good while all the while not being transformed on the inside.  In fact he was almost vicious towards them.

So, today if we say to a person good and charming things, while in our hearts we are hostile and disrespectful towards them, are we transformed or just ‘following the rules’?  If we go to church every Sunday and volunteer to help whenever needed but dread it or almost worse, do it to gain praise from God and man, we are not transformed.

Doing What You Are Supposed to Do

If you are living by the rules because you know that is what you are supposed to do and not naturally from your heart, you have fallen from grace.  For to live by grace is to live by the Spirit and the unction of the Spirit, not by rules, not even the 10 commandments.

So what are we to do then?  Live lawlessly?  Yes, in a sense!  We are to live rooted and grounded in Jesus.  Become best friends with the Holy Spirit.  Read the Word of God with a passion.  Then and only then will true transformation come.  You will become like who you hang out with.  The more time you spend with Jesus the more you will become like Him.

Hebrews 7
18So a previous physical regulation and command is cancelled because of its weakness and ineffectiveness and uselessness--

19For the Law never made anything perfect--but instead a better hope is introduced through which we [now] come close to God. .”  CLICK HERE TO READ IN FULL CONTEXT

Living Lawlessly

I have said this too many people, but that seems overwhelming to them, almost like giving them another law to live by.  Spend time with Jesus – check.  Read the Word – check.  So what is the key here?  How do we desire to live by grace?  How do we desire to spend more time with Jesus?  How do we desire to spend more time reading the Word?

The key is in the ONLY commandments of the New Testament.  If you live by this then transformation will begin and you will live a godly life, a transformed life.

Luke 10:

John 15:
12 “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. 13 “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. 14 “You are My friends if you do what I command you. 15 “No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. 16 “You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you. 17 “This I command you, that you love one another.  CLICK HERE TO READ IN FULL CONTEXT

How To Start Loving When You Don't

So, how do we just arbitrarily start to love Jesus?  How do we develop a love that compels us to spend time with Him?  How do we truly love others?

It begins with the realization of just how much He first loved us.  We are all attracted to healthy love.  But, this is no ordinary love.  It is a love that transforms, heals, protects, elevates to royalty, prospers, vindicates, admonishes, promotes, prefers, favors, comforts, and on and on and on.

Learn About His Love For You First

The very first step to transformation is to learn about Jesus’ love for you.  Learn about the Father's love for you.  Look in the concordance of your bible or go to an online bible and search out the term ‘love’.  Read and re-read about God’s love for you.  Read with an open heart, accepting and receiving. It will heal your wounded heart.

As you soak in the reality of His love for you, you will begin to transform into a Jesus lover.  Then you will want to spend time with Him.  Then you will want to read the Word.  Then love and joy will flood your heart and you will want to serve others.

I want to encourage you to leave me any comments below. They are so encouraging and motivating to me. 


Click Here so you don't miss a single article and other good tidbits!

Check out this amazing book! Click image. 

Buy Choices Like Rivers Here

Related Posts

What Soil Are You Planted In?
What Soil Are You Planted In?
...Last week I wrote about the most toxic contagion. With our words we spread massive amounts of contagion every single
Read More
The Most Toxic Contagion
The Most Toxic Contagion
... Any word said, any action taken, must be done with compassion. That is the only way to build a bridge to deliver the
Read More
Love Does Miracles
Love Does Miracles
...Often when we hurt or suffer loss and the pain that comes with it, we attribute it to God causing that particular ins
Read More

1 Response

Judy R Driskel
Judy R Driskel

December 03, 2021

I’m loving these inspirational messages Nancy!

Leave a comment

Also in Inspirational & Motivational

Do Something Different
Do Something Different

January 25, 2024 1 Comment

Our lives can easily become like those old dirt roads. We can get in a habit of doing something and then, before we know it, we’ve carved out deep ruts in our road.

View full article →

Check Engine Light - is yours on?
Check Engine Light - is yours on?

March 23, 2023

Let me ruffle some more feathers here (I seem to be so good at it). I take issue with the little ‘ask Jesus into your heart’ prayers we tack on to the end of our religious box sessions. That does not lead to being born again. At best, it may allow those saying it to realize that there is a need in their life to allow Jesus to help them change and by saying that prayer sincerely they are acknowledging that something in their life needs to change and they give that to Jesus, which is amazing. But...

View full article →

Religion - A Dead Man Walking
Religion - A Dead Man Walking

March 01, 2023

Religion is divisive. It puts boundaries around opinions, thoughts, and ideas, of what a group of people determine is right and it excludes everyone else that does not believe exactly that way. Of course, if the ‘others’ will change to thinking and believing their way, then...

View full article →